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Now
I suspect that you know the story of the Three Little Pigs. You don’t.
That story is just a fake cough-up from the Third Little Pig, to make
it sound sad. I’m Mr. Wolf by the way, and here’s the True Story of the
Three Little Pigs.
It
was a fine summer’s day like any other. Of course, summertime brought
Hay fever, and I was one of the unfortunate people that had it. I was
taking my daily stroll along the road, and I saw a straw house, newly
built. I walked up the pavement and was about to knock on the door so
I could welcome the new neighbour to the town, when I felt a sneeze coming.
I tried to stop it, I honestly did! But in the end, I sneezed.
“AACCHHOOO!!!” My sneeze was louder and stronger than I had expected.
I had actually blown the poor pig’s house down! Crossing my fingers and
hoping that the pig wasn’t actually inside, I took a look at the completely
flattened straw house.
He was inside. I could see him, just lying amongst
the straw, dead. Now I couldn’t leave him there, and I was feeling hungry
anyway. So, what could I do but eat the poor soul.
You couldn’t blame me. Some other wolf would have eaten him anyway!
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So,
I continued walking along the road, and sure enough, I came across a newly
built house made of twigs. I stopped to admire the house and how beautiful
it looked and, very unfortunately, I sneezed again. “AARRCCHHOOOO!!!!!”
This time the sneeze was even louder. Crossing my fingers again and hoping
that this wouldn’t turn out to be another disaster, I took another look
at the house.
Unfortunately, the house was completely knocked
down again: a large bunch of twigs, and another dead piggy. Naturally,
I was hungry again (wolves do have large appetites), and I didn’t want
another wolf to eat him, so I had to eat this little pig up too.
By now, I was horrified with what I had done. I
had knocked down two houses, one of straw and one of twigs, and I had
killed two innocent pigs. I really wanted to go home so I wouldn’t get
into any more trouble. My house was just down the block, so I set off,
but before I reached my home, I had one more house to pass. This one,
was not made of straw, not made of twigs, but made of fine red brick.
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When I passed
it, I couldn’t help but stop and take a look at this wonderful house.
It was complete with a large garden and a patio at the side, and looked
amazing. As you’ve probably guessed, I had to sneeze, and once again,
my attempts to stop it failed.
“A- A- A- AAAACCCCCHHHHHHOOOOO!!!” This one was
so far the loudest of them all. It was so loud, and so strong, that I
was sure that I would end up blowing down the poor soul’s house again.
Funny enough, it stayed standing. However, it did attract the attention
of the pig living inside, and he stuck his head out of the window and
shouted at me “Now what do you think you’re doing?”
I tried to answer, but all that came out was “AACCHHOO!
AACCHHOO! AACCHHOO!” As I gave
out another 3 gigantic sneezes. Unfortunately, that cruel little
piggy assumed that I was trying to blow down his house (the other ones
I had blown down were his brothers’), and immediately called the town
police, and I was taken to court, sentenced to a lifetime in prison, and
that’s where I am now.
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| So,
there you have it, the true story of the three little pigs. Now you can
all go home and tell everyone the REAL story, not the fake one, and make
sure that no one believes that fake cough-up. While you’re at it, you will
try and help me get out of this dirty prison cell, won’t you?
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